Ways To Annoy People...

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist you "like it that way."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what gender they are.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and just eat the complimentary mints at the cash register.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room..
Dont use any punctuation
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Get a large amount of traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and email them to random people.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Publicly investigate just how loudly and slowly you can belch.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:

• "Listen!  Do you smell that?  Never mind, it's gone."

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what she said." <-- My personal fave :)
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
Sing anywhere anytime.
Staple pages in the middle of the page.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
TYPE IN UPPERCASE
type only in lowercase.
TyPe WiTh AlTeRnAtInG CaSe.

Add some of your faves...

Penguins

From my dad...

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?

Wonder no more!

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.  The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow"

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

Then they kick him in the ice hole.

(Blame my dad, not me!)

Stuff Christians Like Guest Post-a-thon!

Hello there! Here's the guest post from Jonathan Acuff of "Stuff Christians Like"

The “Is that contestant on American Idol a Christian Scorecard”

8. The contestant sings a Switchfoot song = + 2 points

To add up your score with over 130 other ideas on this scorecard, visit stuffchristianslike.net.

Be sure and pick up your copy of the Stuff Christians Like book.  I have mine, and it is absolutely a must-read!

And while you are there, get yourself a copy of my wife's book as well, All for Him: Poems and Prayers of Perseverance and see if it doesn't touch your heart.

40 days...

On Ash Wednesday, I committed to drinking nothing but water for the next 40 days.  Today, I had my first mug of coffee since that day.  Oh my, was it glorious.

Last night I took out the Breville grinder I received as a wedding gift, carefully cleaned the grinder and cup, and got it all ready to go for this morning.  it sat there and gleamed at me...  taunting me with its promise of coffee goodness.

 The hussy.  Look at her, gleaming wantonly with her chrome and plastic.  Just begging for her knob to be twisted and her button to be pressed...

I obliged...  I filled that cup with Ethiopian Yirgacheffe that my friend Roger roasted.  I ground it without remorse, poured it into my Bodum French press, added water, and waited...  4 long minutes I waited.

Oh yeah... this is good stuff.  How I missed you, my beloved coffee.

But seriously, I did this to draw attention to a larger problem:  Access to safe, clean drinking water for the people of Uganda.  Every day, thousands of Africans must hike miles a day just for access to water, and the water is usually contaminated.  Blood:Water Mission  works in each community to provide the best solution for clean water; wells, filters, or another method.  The money I saved by not buying coffee is going to this mission.  Overall, the total number of items given up by the people participating was 21,709, and the total funds raised for Uganda $34,670!  Very cool, I'm glad I got to be a part of that.


If you want to give towards this mission, or take part in another one of their campaigns, you can do so here.

Telos

What does Telos mean?

Telos has its root in the Greek word tetelestai. Telos means to end; to bring to completion; to bring to a conclusion; to complete; to accomplish; to fulfill or to finish.

It is finished.

"Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit"

Telos.  It is finished.

Amen.

Love146

Imagine from LOVE146 on Vimeo.

Child sexual trafficking exists in your local community, whether you believe it or not.

Lidia was with friends in a local mall parking lot when she met her first boyfriend. He drove up beside her in a fancy car and told her she was pretty – she was 10 years old and he was 16. All the other girls tried to get the boy’s attention, and Lidia felt great that she was the object of the boy’s attention. The other girls seemed jealous, especially when Lidia showed her friends the gifts her new boyfriend would buy for her.

Lidia was a smart kid but felt abandoned—her parents were always busy with her little brother. The attention was great. When Lidia received a phone call on her cell phone at home from her new boyfriend, she was questioned about it by her parents. Lidia lied and said it was a kid from school who wanted to ask her a question about homework, since she was an A student. She felt bad about lying but her parents would never understand. Besides, they were always so short-tempered lately—and they were only concerned about her little brother who acted up to get attention. She wanted to get out of the house with all the yelling and fighting. Lidia came up with a plan: she would ask her mom to drive her and her friends to the mall or to a movie, and then she would join up with her boyfriend after ditching her friends.

Her friends finally told on Lidia, so she was grounded. Her cell phone was taken away, but by this time her boyfriend knew where she lived and where she went to school. After school one day he found Lidia and asked her why she didn’t answer his calls. When she explained the situation, he was supportive and comforting. Her so-called boyfriend was making an investment – an investment of time and a crafted illusion of trust and loyalty that bound her emotionally to him.

One morning, after a particularly bad fight at home, Lidia finally agreed to get into her boyfriend’s car after school. He was the only one who understood, and he said he wanted to buy her lunch. She could call home after they ate and tell her parents she went to a friend’s house to talk. She would say she wanted an apology from her parents before she came home. Of course they would apologize—they would be worried about her—and they would be nicer to her in the future. Once the apology was made, he would drive Lidia home, dropping her off down the street so her parents wouldn’t see him. He was so smart!

After lunch, Lidia called her parents. They screamed at her over the phone, and she hung up. Lidia decided she would stay with her boyfriend that night. Her parents would be so sorry they yelled at her! Her boyfriend opened his car door for her like he always did—he was such a gentleman!—and shut the door. When the car door shut Lidia’s life changed forever - her “boyfriend” was actually a pimp. Lidia had never left her community before, but she suddenly found herself far away from home. Her “boyfriend” revealed his true motive with regular beatings to establish absolute control over her – he took away her identity and made her his slave.

For the next five years he prostituted her to over 100 men per month. She knew she couldn’t run; she had already seen proof of his terrifying promise: He had killed animals and severely beat other girls in front of her. “You’re mine. I know where I got you and I can get you again.” She was arrested for prostitution over 17 times in nearly as many states. There was no safe place for her to run, and with each arrest she spent more time in jail – labeled a “child prostitute” and charged with the crime committed against her, Lidia was without hope for rescue.

Thankfully, a diligent law enforcement officer, who was trained by a local organization against child sexual trafficking, recognized Lidia as a victim and she was finally rescued; she is now free from a life of prostitution and her pimp is serving 40 years in prison. Lidia’s story is reflective of the hundreds of thousands of children across America who are still suffering under the violent control of a trafficker/pimp and the men who purchase their young bodies.

Love146 fights all forms of child sexual trafficking and exploitation all over the world. The Cincinnati Love146 Task Force educates the community and fights local and worldwide child sexual exploitation. Join us today!  Leave a comment here, or email us at love146 at stevenixon dot net